Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Asking for help is an important communication and problem-solving skill that children develop over time. It allows a child to communicate when they need assistance, clarification, comfort or support and can help them become more confident and independent in everyday activities.
Children can ask for help in many different ways. Some may use spoken words, while others may communicate through gestures, pointing, eye gaze, signs, pictures or an augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) system. Parents and carers can support this skill by recognising these different forms of communication and creating natural opportunities for children to practise asking for help at home.
How can I encourage my child to ask for help?
Children learn to seek support when adults respond positively to their attempts to communicate and give them opportunities to practise this skill during everyday activities.
Start by showing your child that seeking support is safe and useful. You might model simple phrases such as “Can you help me?”, “Help please” or “I need help.” For children who communicate without spoken words, you can model a gesture, sign, picture or AAC option that means “help”.
It is also important to recognise your child’s attempts to communicate, even when they are not yet using the expected words. Looking towards you, pointing, bringing you an object or using a gesture may all be ways of asking for assistance. Responding to these attempts helps your child learn that communication has a purpose and that other people can help them solve problems.
What can I do as a parent?
Parents and carers can make help-seeking a normal and positive part of everyday life.
Practise during everyday activities.
Natural opportunities can occur while playing with toys, opening containers, completing puzzles, getting dressed, cooking or participating in household routines. These activities allow children to practise asking for help in meaningful situations.
Let your child know that help is available.
Use simple phrases such as, “I’m here if you need help” or “You can ask me if you need a hand.” This reassures your child that asking for help is acceptable.
Model how to request assistance.
Children learn by watching the people around them. You can model phrases such as “Can you help me open this?” or “I need some help with this.” This shows your child that everyone needs assistance sometimes.
Give your child time to communicate.
When your child appears to need assistance, allow a short pause before stepping in. This gives them an opportunity to communicate what they need through words, gestures, pointing, eye gaze, signs or AAC.
Respond positively when your child asks for help.
Acknowledge their communication and provide support where appropriate. A simple response such as “You asked for help — let’s work it out together” can reinforce that asking for help is useful and valued.
What if my child is not yet using many spoken words?
Children do not need to use spoken words to ask for help. They may communicate by looking towards an adult, pointing, reaching, using a gesture or sign, selecting a picture, or using an augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) system.
Parents and carers can support these communication attempts by noticing how their child already communicates and responding consistently. You can also model a simple way to ask for help using the communication method that is most accessible to your child.
Try creating natural opportunities during play and everyday routines. For example, your child may need help opening a toy container, completing a puzzle, building something, operating a favourite toy or joining in an activity. Pause briefly and give them time to communicate before offering assistance.
If your child looks towards you, reaches, points, vocalises, gestures or uses AAC, treat this as a meaningful communication attempt. You can respond by modelling a simple message such as “help”, “help me” or “can you help?” while providing the support they need.
The goal is not to make activities unnecessarily difficult. Instead, the aim is to create safe and meaningful opportunities for your child to learn that asking for help can make communication easier and more successful.
When might Speech Pathology help?
Some children may need additional support to develop the communication skills involved in asking for help, expressing needs or interacting with others.
A Speech Pathologist can look at how your child currently communicates and identify practical strategies that match their strengths, needs and everyday environments. Support may include developing spoken language, social communication skills, understanding and using language, or exploring augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) where appropriate.
At Innerlink Therapy, our Speech Pathologists work collaboratively with children, families and other important people in the child’s life. Therapy can focus on meaningful communication skills that support participation and independence at home, school and in the community.
If you are concerned about your child’s communication or would like practical strategies to support communication at home, contact Innerlink Therapy to discuss whether Speech Pathology may be appropriate for your child.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is asking for help an important communication skill? Asking for help allows children to communicate their needs, solve problems and participate more independently in everyday activities. It can also support confidence and self-advocacy by helping children learn that they can communicate when they need assistance.
How can I teach my child to ask for help? Model simple ways to ask for help during everyday routines and play. You might use phrases such as “help please” or “can you help me?”, while also modelling gestures, signs, pictures or AAC if these are more accessible to your child. Give your child time to respond and acknowledge all meaningful communication attempts.
What if my child does not use spoken words? A child does not need spoken words to ask for help. They may communicate through pointing, gestures, eye gaze, signs, pictures, vocalisations or an augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) system. The important step is recognising and responding to the communication method that works for your child.
Should I wait before helping my child? A brief pause can sometimes give your child an opportunity to communicate that they need help. However, the aim is not to make an activity unnecessarily difficult or frustrating. Support should remain responsive to your child’s needs and communication style.
When should I consider seeing a Speech Pathologist? You may consider speaking with a Speech Pathologist if your child finds it difficult to communicate their needs, ask for help, understand or use language, or participate in everyday interactions. A Speech Pathologist can assess your child’s communication and recommend strategies that are appropriate for their individual needs.